Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Trip to Paris..........

It's not everyday that Jamie gets married so we decided to go all out and spend the week in Europe. Shopping in cutesy boutiques, eating in gorgeous restaurants and staying in the finest of hotels. It was a fabulous time. But when I say boutique, I really mean Ross and the food was orgasmic nachos from Rubios and we were in Oro Valley. But we did have a really fabulous time. It was like a 48 hour junior high slumber party with prank calls and truth or dare included (which is way more interesting now that we're all, um, not 7th graders). I guess it is true. It really doesn't matter where you are but who you're with.

Here Jamie is opening her 4 stages of sex gifts

I was slightly relaxed here. This is where Kat was getting one blue foot and one black foot from the 100 year old professional.

Oh Jenna. If only I could wake up to you every morning.

Nee, nee, nee, neee, nee, nee,nee

Preparing for our Yoko and John photo shoot

Friday, April 25, 2008

Dang. I'm not very good at being pregnant. First off, I hate working out and eating well which results in something shy of a Goddess physique. Second- I become a hermit. I hate the phone, avoid most social situations and have become friends with, of all people, my sewing machine. (That's when you know it's bad). Lastly, I cannot shake this effing headache. My left eye finally gave up the fight and has been blurry for a week now. It's a humming, constant and specific pain that makes me want to kick puppies. I had them with Brooks but wasn't as effected because I was out of my P.J.'s, working and napping 4 hours a day.
When I look at the overall situation, with my one good eye, I know it'll pass and be well worth it. However, that baby better bring a great gift for mommy this time- like a baby grand or something.
Kisses- Preggernelly 2008

Saturday, April 19, 2008

My quest to become Asian

Do you ever sit at home and think, while watching Rock of Love "Man, I really wish I was Asian?" Or is it just me? My fascination definitely started when my mom invited Japanese foreign exchange students to stay with us 3 summers in a row. While everyone was gagging over the seaweed wrapped candy, I was double fisting it and saving it to eat in the privacy of the space under my bed. I also LOVED saying their names: Yoshiaki Shirahama, Siuki, Warren (he changed his name for some reason). I even got over the fact that one of them was obviously gay and hitting on my blue eyed, 11 year old little brother. I say- adding to the cultural experience.

Now, you may be asking yourself, Is Heather just being funny? And I would answer your question with a question- would I be joking about wanting to become Asian if I told you-
  • beyond all the fabulous museums and parks to visit, my favorite part of living in NYC was shopping weekly in Chinatown?
  • I use to make out with Ryan Kimura throughout high school, even with his chronic bad breath, because I wanted to birth his beautiful babies
  • I sit through awkward lunches in McD's playland with Mina, a woman I met in Target, and make myself believe that she's really learning English and I'm really learning Japanese when in reality, we're both really needing an excuse to eat cheeseburgers
  • I grow immune to the dead hooker smell at Li Li's Asian market within 20 minutes (that must be a record)

One more example. This month's recipe club theme was Tapas and Sangrias. I don't know about you but that just screams spring rolls to me! (that just made me laugh). You may think to yourself "Spring rolls? That sounds pretty difficult even for a wannabe Asian". Well you can bet your ho-dens it was. I found a 15 year old stock boy to give me the tour of Li Li's and show me where to find the paper wraps, fresh mint and peanut sauce. Then, I muscled my way to the back of the Vietnamese kitchen next door and stood in the freaking disgusting/amazing kitchen as some 3 1/2 foot lady showed me how to wrap them.

Yesterday, when it was show time, I performed. Sure, I burned off two of my fingertips and sat on the floor and cried a couple times in the process but wow, it was worth it. The spring rolls were a success and I think I moved up a rung on the ladder to complete Japanesation!

Dewa Mata!

Monday, April 14, 2008

what a bad ass

Pardon the '94 term but there are very few words to describe my friend Matt. Last night he completed his 3rd Ironman. And he didn't even train very hard for it this year. People ask me why, of all hobbies, did I pick up running? Sure I love the simplicity, clarity of mind and endurance training body. But let's be honest. Not much beats hitting the canals for long conversations about girls to date, peeing in public, baby names and future races with this guy. Way to go. Unicorns never die.

My Polish Mexican brothers

The agony of 140 miles plus the joy of accomplishing something so incredible is a sight to be seen!

The cheering squad.

it's time :(

So long my little piece of mullet love. .......

A final wave to my blonde baby head

I can't believe he sat quietly through the entire thing!

A sucker and a comb for the road. Why was Mommy crying the whole time?

My favorite Saturday

Lately, Tiff and I have been talking a lot about being more present in our lives. You know, enjoying the now. Sometimes it's really hard for me to slow my thoughts down enough to notice all the little things. This week I spent waaay too much time decorating the house, cleaning the house, worrying about my muscles being replaced with gravy, future trips to see family, future trips not seeing family and a bunch of other crap.

So, Saturday morning I woke up and decided it was going to be a great day. Brooks and I went out to breakfast at "The Farm" and I literally shut off my brain from all the nagging noise. We missed our dad but I didn't let it distract me. It really ended up being one of my favorite mornings ever. I spent most of the time watching Brooks walk. There's something about his waddle that makes me wanna laugh and squeeze him til he pops. I forgot to care about my home and things and social life because I was way more interested in watching the chickens claw over each other to get a closer look a Brooks. And for a couple minutes, we laid under the pecan trees and tried as hard as we could to watch the grass grow. It was awesome

oh yeah- and then we ended the day at the drive-in with Tolman and Broadbent clans. I really don't remember much about the movie but will never forget the Mamba's and babies in the moonlight. Thanks Jenna for the fun night. xox- Mother Earth (my hormones are turning me into a weirdo).

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Ups and downs

21 weeks pregnant and so far so.....um.... o.k. I've had a little nausea this time, plus the headaches are back and I can't sleep through the night. Some have it soo bad so I know I shouldn't complain (sorry Fri!!) but I bet I'm up there with the best of them when it comes to emotions. I'm bat sh*t crazy these days. I cry at anything that's either really touching or amazing or delicious and cheesy. I was just thinking about a list of things that put me through the full range of emotions this week. Deep breath in:

down: searching all over the web and Phoenix for the perfect bed for Brooks
up: realizing that my little monkey is growing up and along with the bed, there's a whole new world we're discovering daily.

down: losing my phone with all contact #'s
up: asking the UPS man if he wanted to make out when he showed up with a new one yesterday

down: crying in Joann's because I hate those type of stores filled with ladies sporting wash and wear hair and sensible shoes
up: realizing that I can talk Julianne into helping me with anything crafty and send those ugly ladies back to the needles and thread section where they belong

down: overhearing some lady at the zoo say I'm a bad mom because I make my kid have a mullet.
up: having Brooks sit still during his 12 minute first haircut

down: crying in Ikea because I nearly pooped my pants in the bed section
up: enjoying an entire 20 minute meal of bliss (prior to the near accident) where Brooks fed and entertained himself and I enjoyed a wrap and 2 very dangerous Diet Pepsis.

down: crying while watching Oprah, American Idol and some conference
up: realizing that I wouldn't have this much tv time or lack of social interaction if I had a freaking phone

That's it. I guess it's all been about the silver lining lately. And I'm not talking about my regrowth!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

No more hints.........

Here's your one hint. Still no clue I'm sure. Ask your teen brothers, they may know. Now I'm going to hang my head in shame.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Alright Jenna.....you asked for it. After narrowing the options, over the past couple of days, I think I'm finally satisfied with my "3 Shames" I'm willing to share with the blogging world. I may have to do sequels later, there were toooo many to choose from. :)

Shame #1: I'm a Groupie
I have been for a couple of years now and even I understand how humiliated I should be. I've followed them to Tucson, San Diego, LA, and at least 6 different venues throughout Phoenix. I've begged to extend my family trip in Portland 3 days just to see them up there. I've loaded bottled water, waited by the tour bus, walked barefoot in the down pouring rain, poured drinks, sat through sound checks, swept stages, and even slept in my car. I've elbowed my way through the sea of 15 year old dudes to be smashed against the stage and receive the occasional water bottle to the head. My love for my band has no end- not even pregnancy. It's slowed down this year but only because they've been touring Asia and Brandon told me no international shows. I need help and would disclose the name of the band but feel that would have to be Shame #2. And yes, I did have wallet size pictures made of myself freaking out at a show for my mother and grandma to keep in their purses. My skin is tingling just writing about it.

Shame #2: I have no Filter
Every year, since I was probably 14, I've started each New Year with the same Resolution: "Heather, stop saying everything that comes to your mind". But, no matter how I try, I can't stop the flow. I've even considered going to AA to receive some addictions counseling. Here's a recent example: yesterday I came home from a morning hike to find this gorgeous moustached Mexican man doing ironwork on our home. I asked Brandon to ask him in Spanish how much he'd charge to let me brush his fine mane of hair. And then, I had to sit on the sidewalk because I was laughing so hard. Brandon and Mr. Moustachio totally ignored me, which made me laugh even harder. Here's the problem, I'm my best audience. I'm constantly laughing at the thoughts that pop into my head. The other issue is that I hang out with people that encourage it- and always have. Sure, they've got all the self control in the world but let's all watch Heather make an ass out of herself. I've even been paid by an actual company to talk about the all the random thoughts that come flying through my head on Phoenix radio. I feel that if I recognize it as a disability, other's will be more understanding when I do have a sudden out burst.
So, thank you Brandon for realizing that I only make fun of your crow face because I can't help it. And sorry to all Disney and dolphin lovers because you'll always be my easiest targets.
(Crap, you better read this one fast because I may have to take it down once the guilt sinks in).

Shame #3: JC Penney
Even I have my limits. Any thoughts about this topic are too sacred. Damn you Jenna for dragging this out of me.
Share your shames: Tiff, Jules, JoEllen, Libbie, Tara, Nicole

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Tagged by Tiff!

Yippee! It's Thursday, Blogday! I'm trying to pace myself and my addictive personality. Mondays and Thursdays are scheduled unless something spectacular pops up on a Wednesday (rare).

How did you meet your spouse? Brandon and I had a Philosophy class together at UVSC. It was his only semester as a Wolverine and he says he went there for the easy classes and easy women. He got an A in the class and found me! 2 for 2.

Where did you go on your first date? We hung out for about 5 months before he realized we were dating. You see, as I've tried to explain to my friends in the past, I was not his type. He loved petite, well mannered, high maintenance and overall refined girls. He was actually in a relationship when we met and would call me to go have fun after he'd finish making out with his hot chick. I asked him to come with me to SLC for a school project and on the drive home, I made him listen to Duncan Sheik's Shadows of Ourselves about 5 times in a row. Not only did it scare the piss out of him it took him about 3 more months to kiss me. I still don't get it with all I had going on at the time. Could you resist?

How long have you been together? Well, from the time we kissed, which I consider the point of no return, 10 1/2 years.

Who eats more? Definitely me these days. He's the kinda a person that finds satisfaction in starvation and self control. I'm the kind that finds it in quesadillas and licking the butter dish.

Who said I love you first? He did. And the best part was how shocked he looked after he said it. It was after an all night talking session and right as the sun was coming up and before his dad came downstairs to eat cereal in his underwear, he let it loose. Still one of my favorite moments in our relationship.

Who's taller? To my mother's dismay, it's me when I'm in my usual heels. But when we're both in flip flops, he's got me by an inch and a half. I'm his favorite big girl. :)

Who sing's better? Me but he does have a killer falsetto.

Who's smarter? We're divided. I've got more schooling but I think he's one of the smartest people I know. However, he'll fight to have me on his team when playing any game because he knows I'm the quickest vat of useless knowledge on the block (besides maybe Cory or Dave).
Who does the laundry? Me
Who does the dishes? Me
Who cooks dinner? Me.............I see a trend here. wtf?
Who pays the bills? Me, unless he want to avoid credit dings or unexpected service suspensions on our rentals. oops
Who is more stubborn? Him. Mostly because he's never wrong. hee hee

Who's got bigger boobs? Me
Who's getting sick of filling this out? Me