Monday, March 30, 2009

- a little revealing

sometimes, having a little brother/photographer live with you is cool. i made him take some pictures of us this morning a la natural. dave has school every morning and leaves the house around the time acorn and b-nut wake up. they love being the first to see each other each day and dave loves delivering the boys to our knocked out nest.
it's our thing.
we turn on pbs, corral the crawler and try as hard as we can to get 5 more minutes of sleep.
and sometimes, when brandon decides to look at me through the messy mass of boy bedhead, i remind him that this is what heaven is going to be like.
i hope.

have i ever introduced ben? he's our other baby. and loves putting brooks in the vice grip.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

-happy 39th brandon!!

just kidding. he's only 34 but really, what's the difference?
making this day special for brandon has been the bane of my existence for over 10 years. he hates presents, goes into a diabetic coma with cake and is super sucky at telling me what he wants to do on his big day. however- every year we seem to pull it off and this year's no exception.

friday was his "guys" night which included a bromance movie, a lot of caffeine and gaming (3 out of 3 things i could never give him unless i shared some of my roll pack).

saturday was full of church responsibilities for the both of us so we saved the fun for sunday night. and can i just say, it was the best sunday night of my life. there is nothing better than laying under blankets on the grass with a belly full of swiss cheese and mushroom burger, laughing at stories i would only repeat if i were willing to lose friendships. (your welcome thera and jenna).

take that you damned recession. brandon may not have gotten the gun or other cool shwagg i wanted to buy him but looking up at the stars while telling fart stories and experiences with a sex crazed ghost was FrEE!

he did get one cool present. a tent for me to play with in the backyard with brooks. isn't that how it works?

best buds baby ade and uncle dave.

for legal purposes, i am not allowed to reveal the identity of this extremely flexible man. or the hole in his pants.

thera and brian. my ugliest friends.

non-gay man cuddling

amazing + amazing + my gross feet= this picture

jenna and sir calvin

after 3 tries, we finally got an open eyed picture

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

-hey it's a good day

my sis inspired me today. for her kids, she loves making the little things seem so special. so today i made an easter garland for my chandelier. it's kinda dorky and outta place in this manly tuscan fortress but i love it. because it makes me think of her.

btw- she told me that i need to start commenting back. i'm sorry i don't. i didn't know the rules and i will be better.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

-here's another

-continued from below

looky what i found. (posted below and above because i was having waaaay too hard of a time figuring out how to make the freaking thing PLAY).
per instructions in the tag from my sister, i'm posting the 4th item in my 4th photos folder. before babies, i did a morning show in radio and was hoping to expand a little into television. however, the adventure only went as far as recording 3 promo's for a make believe network with gigantic dallas hair and a bloated 7 month pregnant body. needless to say, watching these reminds me of the blazing hot stage lights and the taste of doritos/barf in the back of my throat.
when the time is right (aka when i lose 20lbs) i may stretch these media wings again and see if i can upgrade to a spot on usa or spike tv. :)

ps- to answer some of your questions:
yes- i was on the edge 103.9's morning ritual
no- i didn't make money
yes- i quit because i wanted to be home with my babies
will i go back?- only if i don't have to wake up at 3:30am, work around egomaniacs, or see rise against in concert again.

-love boy i'm just fine

Sunday, March 15, 2009

-pink paper house in the sky

so jonelle planned a night out in old town scottsdale to show her 24 year old sister, visiting from indiana, how the big city folk like to get down. but then 24 year old went to the hospital with either mono or organic food overload and opted to pass on the clubbing extravaganza. so what did the remaining friends of older sister in their 30's do? sucked in their baby bellies, spackled on the under eye concealer and threw the car seats in the garage. the evening would not be wasted.

This was actually a very educational experience for me. Seeing as i haven't been "out" in a while, i realized there are many advantages that come with my never needing to be checked age on my i.d. :
1. when the d.j. tells the crowd to put their damn hands up, you can respectfully decline. "i don't want to" i told myself. "i'm not sure what the purpose is of such a position". shenanigans.

2. i'm not jealous of skinny young girls because they don't know how to dress. seriously. i had nooo idea the dress code for 21-26 year olds was a tight black tube dress from charlotte rouse and turquoise eyeshadow. where's the fun in that? 2 words- skinny jeans. wear them before you get to the stage where you stand in front of a mirror convincing yourself that no one will notice the muffin top with the billowy blouse.

3. 12am is very late. just like when i was a child, i'm realizing that really anything after 9 is a crap shoot. i'm tired, i want my shoes off and the only thing that sounds good to eat is an ice cream sundae. which, by the way, would look bizarre amongst the tube dresses.

there you go. i'm old. i love sweat pants. dessert is more important than kanye's lyrics. and i may weigh a little more than my old i.d. reports. so wave em like you just don't care.

tempa and jonelle. audrey left before the clubs because she was scared and smart.

in other news:

it's spring and amazing and warm and beautiful.

brooks is still my baby. may we never grow out of kissing on the lips or make believe bedtime stories. never ever.

i babysat this week. and it didn't suck. my friends know how i feel about this so they never ask. i returned the favor to julianne and spent an afternoon watching brooks learn about superheroes, how to scowl when throwing a ball and what a naughty word is.

this pickle is 7 months old. i think i have to retire the excuse "but i just had a baby!" back to making the bed and sniff testing the expired milk.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

-arizonalewis in concert

thanks for the inspiration team boo.
buckle up.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

-i don't heart cupcakes

just call me oscar the biotch. yesterday was not my finest. i let myself be mad all day. and although embarassing to admidt, i was mad all day because of some stupid cupcakes. today has been much better and now that i've had time to think about it, i need to write down the things that pulled me out of my grumpiness, so that i may pull from them in future times of need.

-running. i did a slow and steady 4 with melanie and felt a million times better. she let me talk about the cupcakes, my babies, the boredom that comes with being a stay at home mom and running. she was either too tired to talk or a really great listener because i don't really remember much of what she had to say except for "i'd be pretty annoyed too" and "i would never pee outside unless it was in a cornfield".

-tiffany gave birth in a car. i'm not kidding. with the help of her hero husband and a very sturdy dashboard to push against, she gnashed that little guy out on the 101 around 3am on Tuesday. i've replayed her story in my head so many times and everytime i get this huge adrenalyn rush. but in the end i have two questions a)how is she so amazing? and b) how much do you tip the guy that has to detail clean that mess?

-brooks is the best. in the car he kept requesting dance music. first station was incubus. "no mommy, dance music". second station was taylor swift. "no. dance music please". third station was britney spear's circus. "yes! this music is dance!" and then thizz faced in his carseat for the rest of the ride home.

-brooks is the worst. as the day was wrapping up i finally got a minute to vent to brandon over the phone while he was driving home. however, the conversation was cut short when brooks walked over to me and wiped an enormous sticky booger on my bottem lip. hearing brandon laugh about it was actually the highlight.

-chicken nuggets in honey. pretty much the greatest thing ever and always makes the sun shine a little brighter.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

-snip snip

dear zac,
i love you. even though you're not Heather. and won't kiss me. and peel out in filberto's parking lot. and think it's gross to cut your own bangs with sewing scissors. and won't let me be blond.
the other Heather

dear ade,
thanks for being such a good baby today. even though i wouldn't let you crawl around on the hairy floor. and made you listen to stories about nude photos. and talked about how fat you made my body.

for a good time call zac watson @ dolce salon. 480-722-0500

dear heather-
sorry you weren't here. and that i've stolen your identity. and someday zac's heart.
the creepy fat version of you

Monday, March 2, 2009

-ok jenna

wanna play tough?
not only do i have a hand drawn picture of Tibby- the parakeet pictured in the zip up jammies monstrosity-

i also have this little gem of a self portrait laying in the back of a CRX on the way to Spokane:

and this too- i actually liked this guy. i thought he'd think i was funny because i was wearing velcro shoes. he didn't. maybe he couldn't get past my gorgeous hair:

but just to show off, i added these two pictures. one of the man of my sophomore year dreams and one of me with the man of my sophomore year dreams. the amazing look on my face is one of pure puberty jubilation. that picture was taken after experimenting for the first time with no doze and before a taco time braces flavored make out session after an INXS concert.

(and don't worry my sister laurel. i didn't even mention that you made out with him a couple months later. i love you too much to bring up that pink elephant).

Sunday, March 1, 2009

-reasons my week was probably better than yours

1. arizona in february. the weather's sooo nice & i would be in shorts had i not experienced that major catastrophe with the spray tan on my shins. nothing 2 weeks worth of showers and a determined loofah can't undo. for the most part. hopefully.

2. my new mineral makeup makes me look like courtney cox. you can't see it? just imagine her with 40 extra el bee's and an irresponsible amount of bronzer on. waaah laaah!
ok let's be honest, i'm only buying this crap so i don't feel as guilty sleeping in my makeup. and because i love coating my entire bathroom in a skin colored tint of the earth's finest natural dust. i'm sure i'll figure out the secret to using this someday. swirl, tap and buff.

3. i'm married to a sexxy man. and by sexy i mean the kind that stays home from church because he's deathly ill and happily agrees to hang with the baby all day so i can enjoy my time without the added stress. and how did i refill my bucket at the spiritual wells of church? i discussed crotch tendons and read stef's decorating magazines. can i get an AMEN.

4. breana invited us over for a night swim. watching these two year old's paddle around with their matching pot bellies was too die for. and after sharing a plate of noodles and broccoli, and a couple fights over the dancing Elmo, they cuddled up in front of the fire to dry.

5. the boys played in a plastic tub together for 25 minutes. i know the time exactly because that's what it took to take a shower, put on makeup, put in a load of laundry, fill the dishwasher, pick up the front room, read an article in InStyle, make a green smoothy and cleverly answer a couple texts. imagine what we could do with an hour?

6. loving this baby. he's happy. he's a great napper. and he's not even a little mad that i'm down to nursing him twice a day. oh yea- and he has camel eyelashes.
if your week was pretty great too, that's awesome. feel free to comment on what it was like to watch heidi and seal make love while eating fresh figs from the hills of an italian villa. :)