Monday, April 7, 2008

Alright asked for it. After narrowing the options, over the past couple of days, I think I'm finally satisfied with my "3 Shames" I'm willing to share with the blogging world. I may have to do sequels later, there were toooo many to choose from. :)

Shame #1: I'm a Groupie
I have been for a couple of years now and even I understand how humiliated I should be. I've followed them to Tucson, San Diego, LA, and at least 6 different venues throughout Phoenix. I've begged to extend my family trip in Portland 3 days just to see them up there. I've loaded bottled water, waited by the tour bus, walked barefoot in the down pouring rain, poured drinks, sat through sound checks, swept stages, and even slept in my car. I've elbowed my way through the sea of 15 year old dudes to be smashed against the stage and receive the occasional water bottle to the head. My love for my band has no end- not even pregnancy. It's slowed down this year but only because they've been touring Asia and Brandon told me no international shows. I need help and would disclose the name of the band but feel that would have to be Shame #2. And yes, I did have wallet size pictures made of myself freaking out at a show for my mother and grandma to keep in their purses. My skin is tingling just writing about it.

Shame #2: I have no Filter
Every year, since I was probably 14, I've started each New Year with the same Resolution: "Heather, stop saying everything that comes to your mind". But, no matter how I try, I can't stop the flow. I've even considered going to AA to receive some addictions counseling. Here's a recent example: yesterday I came home from a morning hike to find this gorgeous moustached Mexican man doing ironwork on our home. I asked Brandon to ask him in Spanish how much he'd charge to let me brush his fine mane of hair. And then, I had to sit on the sidewalk because I was laughing so hard. Brandon and Mr. Moustachio totally ignored me, which made me laugh even harder. Here's the problem, I'm my best audience. I'm constantly laughing at the thoughts that pop into my head. The other issue is that I hang out with people that encourage it- and always have. Sure, they've got all the self control in the world but let's all watch Heather make an ass out of herself. I've even been paid by an actual company to talk about the all the random thoughts that come flying through my head on Phoenix radio. I feel that if I recognize it as a disability, other's will be more understanding when I do have a sudden out burst.
So, thank you Brandon for realizing that I only make fun of your crow face because I can't help it. And sorry to all Disney and dolphin lovers because you'll always be my easiest targets.
(Crap, you better read this one fast because I may have to take it down once the guilt sinks in).

Shame #3: JC Penney
Even I have my limits. Any thoughts about this topic are too sacred. Damn you Jenna for dragging this out of me.
Share your shames: Tiff, Jules, JoEllen, Libbie, Tara, Nicole


Emily K said...

I really, really want to know who the band is that can stir up such loyalty and devotion! Maybe you could post a fourth shame and share with all! That man does have a very fine Pedro-esque quality about him. I too would like to brush his hair, or at least smell the tres flores controlling it. You are still the ever hilarious Heather!

Cory, Jenna and Calvin Broadbent said...

Yessss. I've been waiting by my computer all day for Captain Mustachio. I waited for it...and you delivered. Nicely done. Very nicely done.


Get it? It's like code...wrapped in hugs and kisses.

Fairchild Family said...

I also need to know who the band is . . . I won't be able to rest easy until I know! I will start narrowing my shames down to three so I can fulfill my task of being tagged!

ArizonaLewis said...

The band is...........U2. J/k. They really are such a lame punk band with way too many tattoos and mediocre music which is exactly why I will save myself a little pride. Unless you watch skateboarding videos, you probably don't know them and definitely wouldn't like them. However, to me, they're craptastically delicious!

Tiff G. said...

You weren't making fun of my U2 were you? If so, I'll give away your group right now, afterall you named your dog after them!
Love ya, but consider this blackmail if need be...