Friday, August 6, 2010


how's this for real?
this week was super sucky.
here's the short list:
1. grandma had a heart attack
2. hit the house while pulling into the garage
3. ripped the bumper off while failing to avoid hitting the house
4. this saturday's photo shoot called from the ER because she'd wrecked her car- and face
5. flushed my blackberry down the toilet
6. my first home studio photo shoot was way harder than it should have been
7. my 3 year old told me- as i was getting out of the tub- that my vagina was ugly
and you know when you start to notice the bad things, the list grows faster than usual.
so i'm going to find a silver lining in all of this week's grossness:
1. grandma's home from the hospital, my mom and dad live close enough to be there for her and grandpa and i get to go give her love in less than a week!
2. the damage to the house was minimal. not much more than some touch up paint.
3. the damage to the car was minimal. not much more than some how bending the bumper into place, touching up the paint and hopefully driving it off a cliff. i'm ready for a new car anyways.
4. saturday's photo shoot decided she still wanted to go through with it because she has crazy confidence in my photoshopping skills. she said "i look fine, except for my chin. i have a huge gash on my chin". just writing this makes me laugh. this girl's determined to get engagement pictures done even if it means i make her pose for every picture by peeking over a fence.
5. damn it. i was time for a social purge anyways.
6. the 6 month old sugar baby was wiggly and fussy and acted like a typical 6 month old. however, i did manage to take one picture that melted me. georgia is the cutest little girl and i'd do it all over again for this image:
7. there's really no silver lining to having an ugly vagina. i'd sacrifice it's aesthetics for my 3 roommates any day.

if i don't reply to your texts or phone calls it's because the universe wanted me to learn something about patience, simplifying and prioritizing this week.
the end.


Carolyn said...

A couple years ago elyott told me my vag looked "old"

hang in there ;)

Kelly Mo said...

For what it's worth, it didn't seem like your first photo shoot was hard. I thought it went quite smoothly. Also, that picture is fantastic. Love that face!

ArizonaLewis said...

it wasn't my first shoot- just the first one in my house. usually, it all goes down at jose's where he fixes the lights, props and my camera's settings. yesterday, he was just there for moral support and to laugh when he realized it was a phone and not a comb that was flushed.

your little girl makes my uterus rumble.
i think it's time for another one!!

LuLu said...

Ahhh, Heather... you're so refreshing! What can I say, I'm sorry you had a bad week and that your boy thinks you have an ugly vag. I'm sure it's not that bad
Next week is going to be awesome!

Sara said...

What a hell of a week.

I'm so sorry for the many sucky things that took place!

Also, if I may, I have a 30 Rock quote about your lady business that might help:

"Mt vagina is a convenience store: clean, reliable and closed on Christmas."

I'm sure it's pretty and extremely fashion forward.

brian and thera tolman said...

I'm sorry about your week...just think when your boys are grown and out on their own you will always have your snaggle vag to remind you of them, besides is there really such thing as a "pretty" vagina??

You really do have the cutest family in the world!

communikate. said...

Oh man.. ugly vag? That's hilarious!

Sorry you've had a rough go at it! Here's to hoping good things are coming your way!

Carrie Leanne said...

cracking up at your 3 year olds comment!
looks like you've got some pretty awesome roomies :)

Lisa said...

This post was super funny--and now laughing about all the're vag is famous!