Monday, February 15, 2010

-catch me if you can

today we went to the park.
while i was sitting on a bench, watching my boys play, a streak of pure bliss ran across my field of vision.
it was a 10 year old girl with sweaty snarled hair, black flats and her sundress hiked up around her waist.
she was sprinting as hard and fast as she could.
the best part of this scene was not the shock of getting flashed by her black undies but the look of complete excitement, thrill and happiness smeared all over her face.

20 seconds later, i understood her expression when 3 boys came chasing after her sporting looks of frustration and defeat on their faces.

i instantly loved that girl.
"go girl go!!"
"keep running!"

even if they did eventually catch her, her attitude and energy would make her victorious.
she knew, and they knew, she was the winner.

and that got me to thinking (uh oh).
what's happened to me?
i've let this year kick me in the face.
the lawsuits, the house floods, the friend drama, the diabetic episodes, the stressing about my body, the need to be a perfect mom,
my inability to be satisfied with what i
create,
do,
say,
think.
my inability to be satisfied with me.

i've been the chaser, exhausted and defeated.

i'm taking the lead in my life again and reminding the "issues" that although i'm well aware of them and figuring out how to deal with them, they'll never overtake me.
i'm not running away from them, i'm just giving them a good chase.
and i'm going to have a helluva good time doing it.

blah. how's that for an emotional unload?
cheers.


i did manage to snap one shot of her with my camera phone.
here she is, hiding from the chasers.
just look at that face.......