-hand a 4 year old a camera and......

he'll direct a shoot.

in every pose.

even my face expressions.

we mounted my nikon to a tripod and he was too funny bending over to look through the little window. he freaked out when i tried to make it easy for him and switch it into live view.

i wish i was in his brain.

i want to know brooks's thoughts and the process behind them.

i want him to know how much he's loved.

i want to know if i'm doing enough as his momma to stimulate his creativity and encourage his strengths.

i want him to be happy.

these pictures were taken before we came up to washington.

i have nothing to blog about.

my brain is completely shut off.

and i cancelled all of my photo shoots up here to prevent it from powering up again.

i'm choosing to refuel by walking in the wind, eating tacos and watching movies in bed.

this may take a while.

-so yeah

1st week in kennewick has looked like this.........

i think we're finally in the clear.

fun starts tomorrow.

-the escape from fat camp

i don't even know where to start.

there are too many details.

although i love descriptive writing, there are some situations that are so insane that there aren't enough words to paint the picture accurately.

you really had to be there.

so here's a recap to jog my own memory 20 years down the road:

we went to an all inclusive japanese themed spa in san marcos, ca.

upon arrival they sent us to our separate room, had us measured for our "issued" clothing for the week and then schedule our stay with 6 HOURS of training each day and MINIMAL food provided by them at the communal meal times.

this "relaxing" girls trip to the spa ended up being military training with a side dish of Heaven's Gate.

we did our best for about 18 hours.

and then we fled.

we mentioned that we were heading into del mar for some shopping and burgers and the fellow guests all gasped in unison. they'd never know of anyone to leave the property.

what?

we didn't know that we weren't suppose to leave either.

we left the compound and while stuffing our faces with fries and soda we made a call and arranged to have our rooms packed by the cleaning crew so that we could sneak back in and make a quick stealth like exit.

so after 2 hours of riding in the back of some del mar waiter's car (full of campfire scented clothes) -another story in itself- we pulled into the Grand del mar with our smuggled luggage and a new sense of hope for resurrecting this bless-ed vacation.

ahhhhh..................
we headed straight to our room.

2 queen beds, a bradly cooper movie on a large flat screen, room service and taking turns in the scarface sized bath tub. redemption.
we totally made up for the lack of food at weirdville, usa by over eating at every other meal.

7 hours got lost somewhere at the spa.

we turned off our phones and watched people.

there was another movie night with room service where the physical activity looked like this:

-sit up

-cut piece of steak and put in mouth

-lay down

-chew meat in mouth

-swallow

-and repeat through 2 movies and an episode of TMZ.

the gluttony was fabulous.

and then we had to leave.

the only things that kept us from crying were the stories about awkward conversations during the forced meal time at "couple's retreat" where i was forced to stare at a man's chest hair poking out of his room issued komono and how we had to bang on the kitchen door for some carrot juice to keep us from passing out.

thanks jo for being you.

life just wouldn't be as amazing without you in my stories.

-i know a name- a glorious name

to truly know me is to know my father.

it's because of him i have a problem with reverence and seriousness.

this is a man that sings "i'm not drunk, i'm just drinkin" on the way to church and then 15 minutes later completely rocks the complicated tenor part in the church choir's rendition of "peace be still".

he's loving but not mushy,

extremely intelligent but quite simple,

rowdy but obedient,

and incredibly young at heart for a 62 year old body.

i'm such a lucky girl to have this man as the one in the bleachers at all of my basketball games, the one giving me priesthood blessings throughout childhood, the one encouraging my confidence and the one buying my boys baby size lawn chairs.

happy father's day DJMC.

i love everything about you.

ps- seriously though. my dad can sing.

-devil moon

i took so many pictures of slow runner back in april.

i've been at a complete mental stand still on what to do with them.

i'm sending them to the band but thought i'd sneak a couple up on the blog first.

we had the kind of fun i had back in high school.

a small road trip to bumble bee, az where we listened to music, made fun of each other, dissected owl pellets, ate burgers, talked to locals and lllllaughed.

yep.

-william

he walked into the room and i knew he was there before i even saw him.

i tried to control my nerves by being funny.

i said "oh good. i'm glad you sat there. i need to test the lighting before william shows up".

he smiled.

and then i said "i'd hate to let my nerves and excitement interfere with my ability to take a decent picture".

he said "i'm glad i could help".

and then he smiled again.

i said "i'm a pretty big fan but i don't want to come across that way when he does get here. i really don't want to look like an idiot".

he said "i'm sure he'd understand. take your time".

and then we sat in near silence.

i click off about 10 frames and would occasionally ask him to look at me or to not look at me.

he obliged and seemed absolutely comfortable in the silence with a silly girl and her camera.

people started showing up and i was instantly hit with reality.

how long were we even in there?

why didn't i ask him the millions of questions i had about his music/lyrics/life?

did i even get anything that completely captured the moment?

i kept taking pictures -although i had a really hard time focusing.
he was awesome.
and then before i left to get ready for the show he said "hey. don't you want a picture together?"

and i said "oh yes! of course. but i don't want it to look like the average fan shot".

he said "what does that mean?"

i said "i want you to act like you know me. like- we're friends or something".

he said "sure. like this?"
yep. exactly like that.

i realize i didn't put my ugly arizona lewis watermark on any of these.

it's because it was too distracting.

so please don't steal.

-for my favorite singne in the world.

i love love love this girl so much!

they're having a little girl so soon and seeing her so cute and pregnant made for a fun shoot.

i couldn't stop recording her laugh.

she's the cutest girl and watching her belly bounce made me want to brush a unicorn's mane.

song by ingrid michaelson.

-jethro gillespie

it finally came.

i "traded" the gillespie family for this family portrait.

i took picture of their pretty faces and jethro made us this:

seriously.

he really doesn't even know us.

he asked for a simple description of each family member so this is what i sent him:

Brooks- wants to be a good boy but isn't an annoying tattle tail. He's a leader with his friends and loves animals and learning about animals. Major momma's boy but looks exactly like his papa. Sweeter than candy.

Ade- our little ham. athletic and silly. Idolizes brooks and his daddy. Extremely independent and as charming as brandon. Ade loves to move his body and talk to anyone that'll listen. He also has camel eyelashes.

Brandon- he's a passionate entrepreneur, making money but rarely spending it. He's reserved but loves people that aren't. He's extremely charming but never cheesy. More of a scholar than a know it all.

me- My biggest fear is being invisible. I know everyone but have very few close friends. My need for attention is mildly satisfied by taking pictures, creating things, making people laugh and writing.

this portrait means everything to us.

jethro is so talented and should be charging 10 times what he does.

visit his blog for more examples of his work.

wouldn't you love to see his interpretation of your family?

-shalom chaverim

so that went fast.

brooks is our little jewish preschooler and we couldn't be more proud.

besides learning how to write his name and color EVERYTHING in orange, brooks baked challah every friday and learned the true meaning of all of the million jewish holidays. we LOVED it. brooks recognized halfway through the school year that his mormon life was actually different than his friends and made sure to tell me who was and wasn't jewish in our daily casual conversations.

brandon and i loved going to the temple's holiday and shabbat services.

i always made sure to sit next to a pre-teen so they could explain what was happening at my level. so many beautiful traditions.
look at those nuggets:

ms. nancy:

and ms. karen

brooks had the most amazing teachers that showed him lots of love every week.

i cried like an idiot on his last day.

i realized how much they loved me too- always listening to my lame stories about how busy i think i am and how stressful my great life is. they were too too kind. oy.